lexieonline

I have struggled for a while on what to write my next blog post about. I really didn’t know where to start or what to do, but I knew I wanted to write about something that is relatable. Well, after thinking about where I am in my life and the journey to get here, I decided to write about something that no one prepares you for or tells you about.

Not only is it the 9-5 workday, but also the feelings you experience post-college and the struggle to find yourself in such a big world.

I mean, heck. We have been in school from the age of 5 or 6. Going to class and learning things is all we know. Now, you are saying that I just throw myself out there in the “real world” and have to “figure it out” all on my own?

No guidance
No rubric
No itinerary

What am I supposed to do now?

I know for a fact that every post-graduate struggles with the “What’s next???” feeling. We question our decisions, our jobs, our major… Should we go to grad school and get a master’s? Do we move away or stay in our hometown? Do we accept this job even though we think we should be getting paid more or aren’t going to be passionate about it?

We don’t know. And that is ok.

I struggled for the LONGEST time with the “What’s Next?” step. All of my goals and dreams didn’t seem realistic and with COVID and everything else, it was seeming impossible to land a job in my major. I was debating what I wanted to do for days and days before and after graduation.

Running away to Wyoming may not be the best answer, but it was what my soul longed for and the perfect “What’s Next?” answer. The feelings of disorientation, isolation, and being heavy-hearted weighed down on me for a long time. I felt like a lost sheep in a field of chickens. I didn’t belong, I didn’t feel accepted. Why is life this hard and why does no one talk about it?

Well, I hope you are all ears because I am about to talk about it.
And the truth to the matter is… IT SUCKS! Life is hard, hard, hard.

We can get so lost in the way we “think” things should be and lost in comparing ourselves to others around us. Half of my friends are going into the medical field and are still in school. Some are doing accounting. They all have jobs lined up and/or are continuing school for the next few years. Where does that leave me? And the answer is ~unknown~. But, to be honest, isn’t that a scary, yet amazing feeling? To have the world at your hands and be able to do WHATEVER you want with that?

After my time in Wyoming, I really pondered on what I wanted to do with my life. I did NOT want to move back to Brandon, MS. I searched for months and months for other jobs in New Orleans, Atlanta, Charleston, New York, and I got close at times… But it just wasn’t working out. I watched everyone around me start to get jobs and figure life out for themselves while I was out hiking a 12-mile hike to look at a glassy lake.

At that point, was it even worth getting a job? Lol. Well, flash forward to October when my seasonal jobs ended. And the “What’s Next???” stood out in big fat bold, flashy letters everywhere I turned. I soon found myself at Cups working as a barista and going to Oxford every weekend for football games. Even though I love working as a barista, it just wasn’t going to work out for me long-term.

My mom sent me a Facebook post from a business looking to hire a new full-time person on their team. As hesitant as I was, I gave the job a chance and reached out to submit my resume and application.

I got asked for a second interview after my first one, and I was still so hesitant on whether or not to accept the job. All I could think about in the back of my mind is getting out of Mississippi, traveling, seeing the world, meeting new people, and more. Nowhere in the back of my mind was I thinking, “Live at home with your mom and work at this business in downtown Brandon, Mississippi.”

But that is what ended up happening…..

I can honestly say that now, my soul longed for this. I needed time to establish myself and figure out how life works post-college. I was constantly on the run from Oxford, to Wyoming, to anywhere else but my hometown, and now that I am in it, it is time to rest and get myself grounded.

I have had similar conversations with my friends about adjusting to the 9-5 world and how it is impacting them. The funny thing is, we all feel the same way.

Yes, life is scary and yes, it is hard to adjust after you graduate college and get that diploma. No one is telling you what you should and should not do. It is all up to you and the world becomes your oyster. We have to put ourselves out there, develop new friendships, change our old ways, and more.

Even though it is scary and unknown, it is also the best time to experience new situations, grow, learn from our mistakes, mature, and more. Remember who you really are and what differences we want to make in this world.

I am so excited to be on this new journey and I cannot wait to watch all of my friends around me, too.